Big Doofuss!

Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. (Matthew 18:21, NKJV)

Last week, Mike and I planned an interisland trip, partly business, partly leisure. We scheduled our sitter who just happens to be the best sitter in the world, thank you Julie, we love and appreciate you! Everything was all set and ready to roll and we were so excited.

We had an early plane to catch and had a lot to get done before we left for the day so our house was buzzing. It was crunch time and right before I walked out the door, Mike made a negative comment under his breath, which by the way is one of my hugest pet peeves…ever. If he is going to say something, I say belt it from the rooftop! Well, not from the rooftop, but I’m sure you get the idea.

I took a slow…deep…breath, determined to ignore what he mumbled, and determined to overcome the temptation to scream, “WHAT DID YOU SAY?!” I was home free...almost…when all of the sudden my middle child decided to loudly proclaim what he said!

That's about the time I heard Pastor Larry in my head repeatedly saying, "Choose not to be offended. Choose not to be offended. CHOOOOOSE NOT TO BE OFFENDED." I wanted to scream, "SHUT UP PASTOR LARRY!" But I couldn't because that would be like telling my dad to shut up and I just can't do that no matter how loud my flesh screams!

I remained silent. No, despite popular belief, that is not an impossibility. We were driving down the road and I quietly tried to put on my bracelet which it is a tiny bit too short so I generally ask Mike to help me. But this day, I was determined to do it by myself! He saw me struggling and calmly said, "Do you want me to help you with that?" I softly answered, "No" but he knew what I was thinking. I was thinking, "No! I never want you to help me with anything, ever again!"

That's about the time, I…again…heard Pastor Larry repeatedly saying, "Choose not to be offended. Choose not to be offended. CHOOOOOSE NOT TO BE OFFENDED." Please refer to the previous “Pastor Larry” paragraph.

As we quietly drove down the road and this mental war waged, Mike finally said, "Your eyes are so beautiful, sometimes you remind me of an Egyptian Queen." At which time I wanted to roll my eyes in the back of my head and scream, "OH SHUT UP YOU BIG DOOFUSS!" And, for good measure, also add scriptural reasons why a “compliment” of comparing my eyes to an Egyptian queen’s eyes were totally unbiblical! I didn’t know how, but for a split second I was going to use my phone to research the subject and prove my point!

But...alas…I didn't…for many reasons.

One of which, even though he used bad judgement and made a mistake…he is still the authority placed in my life…by God. I believe God called him to be my husband, this includes imperfections. God didn't give me a "mistake loophole". God has never told me, "Mike is your authority as long as he never makes a mistake." As a result, the way I respond to Mike is between me and God. Mike is affected by how I treat him; however, I answer to God for how I treat him. I chose life over death. (Deuteronomy 30:19)

Secondly, I didn’t want my girls to see me respond to their father (the authority God placed in their life) with disrespect.

So...I purposefully laughed...I laughed really hard! Then he laughed! Then my girls laughed!
(Nehemiah 8:10, Ecclesiastes 3:1,4, Proverbs 15:15, Proverbs 17:22)

See, I had two choices.

1. Break the Cycle of Offense (or)
2. Continue the Cycle of Offense

“you must make the decision that regardless of how you feel, you are not going to be offended”, Dr. Larry Ollison, Breaking the Cycle of Offense (www.faithman.org)

I felt like smacking him...but, I’ve read the book…twice. I continue to refer back to it when needed. Personally, I believe there should be an app for that! The book is life changing when the principles are applied.

• Get it.
• Read it.
• Apply it.

You will be glad you did!