The Homeschooler Next Door

Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6, NKJV)

I am often asked about homeschool at least 3 to 5 times per month. I’m approached by either homeschooling parents who are currently struggling or by parents who are considering homeschooling or by public school children who are intrigued with homeschool.  

I am always excited to equip parents with all the information I have in order to make informed decisions. In an effort to discontinue reinventing the wheel with links and other information every time I’m asked, I wanted to write a blog post covering most of the questions I receive.

We have been homeschooling since my middle child was in Kindergarten (at the time of this writing, we have been homeschooling four years). She had attended a phenomenal Christian private preschool for two years. We had a very rocky transition because preschool had everything and mom had a few things. Her preschool teachers were bubbly, exciting and certified to teach. I am less than bubbly and exciting and have a B.A. in Criminal Justice with a concentration in Probation/Parole, not even remotely the same. I did minor in counseling which has helped at times!

The first mistake I made was buying the wrong curriculum. I saw something cute and biblical. My children saw something slow and boring. This particular curriculum was “beneath them” because of the amazing instruction they had received from our church at that time, Walk on Water Faith Church (www.faithman.org). The curriculum I had purchased for her at age 5, she could have completed at age 3.

Thank God for homeschool groups! I discussed our struggles with a veteran homeschool mom who told me my child was bored. She suggested I double up on the curriculum (two lessons per day as opposed to one) so I did and our homeschool immediately improved. I am so thankful for veteran homeschool moms!

I continue to receive support from our homeschool groups, they are worth their weight in gold! If you homeschool or considering homeschool, the first suggestion I make is to connect with a local homeschool group. Homeschool groups can be found on Facebook and Yahoo Groups. If you need help with that, please contact me and I will help you link up.

The next step I suggest is Homeschool Legal Defense Association at www.hslda.org and click, “my state”. This site will most likely answer every question you have ever had about homeschooling…and then some. Another good tab is, “You can homeschool”. This site is the best site for “one stop shopping” for all homeschoolers. There is information, webinars, newsletters, member services, record keeping, etc. The site is amazing.

How we got started. Mike wanted me to homeschool. I didn’t want to homeschool. I wanted to work at our family owned business. I had consistently had a job since I was eleven years old so the thought of not working was something my brain could not compute. As if homeschooling is not work! We initially decided to homeschool because we were living in Missouri and Mike promised me if I homeschooled he would take me to Hawaii to winter every year. Great motivation, but not exactly the best factor in deciding to  homeschool and not exactly a fairy tale decision of why to homeschool.

Prior to deciding to homeschool, I decided to talk to a few homeschooling families about their decision to homeschool. I was going to do my due diligence, gather all the information I needed to convince Mike of all the reasons why not to homeschool. 

On my way to our first homeschool group meeting, I was watching my babies in their carseats (wondering if I could ever be equipped), singing and praising God, searching for the right answer. God spoke to my heart and said, “There will be so many issues you won’t even know about by virtue of your decision to education your children at home. Before I even reached the homeschool group outing, ” I called Mike and said, “Looks like we’re a homeschooling family!”

There are many misconceptions about homeschoolers. The most common ones I have faced are:

Homeschoolers are adamantly against public and private schools.

Completely false. Just because we homeschool, doesn’t mean I believe a child cannot be trained in the way he should go via the public, private or charter school system. There are amazing teachers in "the system" who were called to teach and operate in that call with a spirit of excellence. Homeschooling is what we do as a family, based on the heart’s desire of each of our family members and we reevaluate that decision every year prior to purchasing curriculum for an upcoming year. We choose the best option for our family and for our children's education based on information from every family member. At this point, every school year, our family has been in full agreement that homeschooling is the best option for us. It definitely frees us up with flexibility so that we can travel with our businesses and on vacations during off peak seasons. Travel is extremely important to us. Homeschool allows us to grab our laptops and head out at a moment’s notice. And homeschool allows us to plan ahead and take school breaks for family vacations during off peak travel times. And that ROCKS!

Homeschoolers experienced a terrible tragedy at their local public school so they have no other option but to homeschool.

Completely false. Please refer to the above paragraph.

Homeschoolers never or rarely see their friends and suffer socially.

Completely false. As a homeschooling parent, this is probably the most ridiculous question I’ve ever been asked. My children participate in swim team, AWANA, private music instruction, and go on homeschool field trips at least bi-monthly. They have participated in martial arts, drama, art, soccer, equine camp, group music instruction, cooking classes, volleyball camp, Leadership Team, golf, science fairs, etc. They are currently in the fifth grade. My girls have already experienced more at their age than I did by the time I was thirty! Opportunities for homeschool families are endless, literally. We struggle more with what we have to decline rather than struggle with finding enough options to fill our day.

If you ask a homeschooling family about lack of socialization

 and they burst out into laughter, this is why.

Homeschool families never struggle with learning disabilities, behavioral issues, or family problems.

Completely false. I’m very thankful to have never struggled with learning disabilities; however, we address behavioral issues just like everyone else who has children. Children are children and they are learning as they go. We have a mandate by God to train them in the way they should go which means not training them in the way they shouldn’t go. I do believe it is true that we, as a family, don’t continually address the same behavioral issues for the long term because Mike and I are the primary influence over our children. As a result, we can “nip” issues “in the bud” as well as reinforce using God's Word until our children grasp godly behavior. We don’t have to undo 8-10-12 hours of someone else’s influence because we are not limited to 2-3 hours of influence. 

Homeschool families are overachievers, homeschooling parents drive their kids to graduate early.

Completely false. While some homeschoolers do graduate earlier than their counterparts, it generally isn’t due to parents forcefully driving their children to succeed. For example, my youngest is a year ahead of her public school peers chronologically because she was educationally and attitudinally prepared to start a year earlier than a public school would’ve allowed her due to her age based on when she was born (not making the cut off). In other words, if she were in public school, she would’ve “been held back” even though she has successfully completed and tested a grade ahead by virtue of being educated via homeschool.

Homeschool families don’t really teach their kids much. Most of their day is spent playing outside.

Completely false. However, I am a hard core advocate for children playing outside, a lot. I believe their play is their work/education but obviously everything must be kept in balance. All play and no “book work” is just as detrimental as all book work and no play.

The homeschool community has a lot in common with public school families. There are those who work with diligence to insure their children are educated/trained while there are those parents with children who cannot even meet the requirements of state standards. Grouping all homeschool families into one group is as ignorant as grouping anyone into one group. All women/men/children/races, etc are not the same any more than homeschooling families are the same.

It is true that passive parents make poor educators but the same could be said for passive public &/or private school teachers. It could also be said, passive doctors make for poor medical care, passive pastors make for poor spiritual training and passive investment brokers make for poor return on investments.

Homeschoolers cannot be clumped into one group any more than anyone else can.   

Homeschool families do too much with all their playing instruments, graduating early, community service, church services...why do they do so much stuff?

Each family is different. Each family must decide what is best for their family. Look at the fruit in their lives.

Curriculum

We have used three different sets of curriculum with numerous supplements. The set that works best for us as a family is Switched on Schoolhouse available at Alpha-Omega Publications (www.aop.com). Our family has learned, if the curriculum doesn’t work…our homeschool doesn’t work. We had to find a good mix that “spoke to” each of us and for us, SOS fills the bill. For us, we’ve found no “complete curriculum”. As a result, we continue to supplement.

To teach typing skills:

http://www.aophomeschooling.com/product/er2001/

Our third grade year we added Spanish as a foreign language even though it isn’t required at this grade level. We wanted to “get a taste of” several languages to allow my girls to decide which language they want to pursue.

http://www.aophomeschooling.com/product/12sosesp/

Our fourth grade year we added French.

http://www.aophomeschooling.com/product/12sosefr/

For fifth grade, my girls decided to add Spanish.

This year, we also added Health Quest because my girls are currently fascinated by the human body…as well as all other bodies.

http://www.aophomeschooling.com/product/12soshq/

The AOP website offers a lot of support; for example, seven steps to start homeschooling at http://www.aophomeschooling.com/series/

We’ve found AOP to be unmatched in customer service, as well as HSLDA. Even to the point of technical support. This year, while uploading the disks for our current school year, I had huge issues that had nothing to do with SOS or AOP; however, their technical support team remote accessed our computers and got us up and running even though we had a networking issue.

This year (5th grade), we have exchanged the SOS Math with Saxon Math but are supplementing SOS Language Arts with Easy Grammar. We have made this decision for this school year because in my opinion (for my family), I wanted a different approach to math and Saxon Math is the correct teaching method for us. We are supplementing with Easy Grammar on the advice of a friend. At this point in our school year, we are very happy with Easy Grammar. It really solidifies their lessons. Saxon Math and Easy Grammar have very quick and easy learning curves regarding how to teach the subjects.

Information regarding these subjects are below.

www.saxonhomeschool.com
www.easygrammar.com 

We also supplement with a minimum of two “outside” classes; i.e., private music instruction (I personally require an art every year) and swim team/martial arts (I personally require a phys ed class every year). Swim season will be over after finals next week so we are very excited to return to martial arts class. I also require community service work, so my girls work with our dog to do canine visitation therapy at Long Term Care. 

www.facebook.com/KeyTovDOGography

We also utilize our local community education center for workshops and classes for our children as well as myself. We use ipad apps for reinforcement. We also use DVDs for historical and science supplements because my girls are fascinated with history and science. We surf the web for science experiments because we are a family who is geared towards science and hands on learning. And of course there is our local library. We use the Kohala Library because it is a great resource. They also hold a bi-weekly class geared for homeschoolers.

We also participate in a 50 States Homeschool Postcard Exchange and we have pen pals on the mainland.

When we need a break from our routine and regular curriculum, we use The Core Knowledge Series, “What Your Fifth Grader needs to Know. Amazon offers the whole series starting at preschool.

An invaluable resource is our local used book store.

Another great resource is...believe it or not...You Tube. I highly suggest you monitor all You Tube searches for your protection. We use a lot of Schoolhouse Rock featured on You Tube.

Another great resource is homeschool conferences. While we lived in Missouri, I attended the annual SHEM conference in Springfield, Missouri. For one minimal fee, they offer workshops, etc. Curriculum vendors are there to answer questions. It is a great conference.

 http://shemonline.org/

There is also an annual conference in Honolulu. I've never attended it but have heard great things about it and plan on attending next spring.

http://www.christianhomeschoolersofhawaii.org/conference.htm

What our day looks like.

We play a mix of praise music, classical, and scriptures set to music during school hours. Once I turn on the homeschool mix, my girls know it is time for school. My girls are not on a set schedule, per se, they have never lived by an alarm clock, unless we are scheduled to catch a plane. They wake up on their own, personally, I love that. As liberal as that may sound, their internal clocks are very predictable. They are up around 6:30 am. They have a quick snack to get their metabolism started; for example, a small piece of cheese, a few berries, or share a piece of fruit. Afterwards, we generally walk the dog and discuss our expectations for our day. Next we do our devotions and have prayer. SOS doesn’t include a penmanship program so we use our daily confession for penmanship. We read our devotion, discuss it, turn the scripture into a confession, print or write the confession in print or cursive depending on what they need to practice. We use a One Year Devotions for Kids (Tyndale Kids), or Superkid Academy (www.superkidacademy.com), or our God’s Word for Girls Bible (Baker Books). After prayer, we also have a Bible lesson/quiz/test that is part of our curriculum. Once that is complete, we have a small breakfast. After breakfast, we complete Math and Language Arts. Then we break for lunch. After lunch break (free play time) and depending on the day, it is time for a lesson/quiz/test in History/Geography, Science, Health, and/or foreign language. Obviously, we don’t do these subjects every day. I was recently told by a homeschool mom who doesn’t use SOS that research indicated SOS requires a minimum of six hours per day in front of the computer. We have not had that experience. “Timing” hours in front of the computer is difficult because if we are covering a new concept, we are in front of the computer or using computer games or worksheets to master the concept; whereas, if we are in review it takes less time. Once we are finished with our lessons/experiments, etc we between, we make beds, vacuum, do laundry, etc. And don't forget daily reading time! I check their work throughout the day, complete grading, etc. This year, they have started taking notes as I teach the lessons. Somewhere in here, we squeeze in 2-3 recess breaks and life skills.

We school year round taking breaks every quarter instead of taking the summer off. We finish all curriculum, so the length of our summer break depends on when we finish our curriculum.

Things I had to give up.

Some moms homeschool while still maintaining their position in their family business. I was unable to keep my position in our business. I still do projects in marketing, research, advertising, etc; however, I could not maintain my position in the accounting department and homeschool my children. It wasn’t easy for me to admit defeat; however, when homeschool and my position in our business suffered, wisdom ruled. Prior to that point, when I was homeschooling, I felt like I should be working. And when I was working, I felt like I should be homeschooling. We hired someone to do what I wanted to do to free me up to do what I wanted to do more.

Things I wish I had known. Homeschool is not public school. Being a product of public school, I attempted to recreate a public school setting into my homeschool. If I could do it all over again, I would have played outside with my girls even more. I would’ve used sticks, leaves and rocks for math instead of worksheets and blocks inside the house. I would’ve had more fun instead of being stressed wondering if I were doing everything right or if I was scarring my children for life. I would have trusted God more in His call for us to homeschool.

Prioritize.
Make homeschool a priority. There will be a million distractions to come against your homeschool, your relationship with your children, and their relationship with one another. Keep in mind, there is an enemy roaming around. Walk in authority against it and refuse to allow your homeschool to be devoured.

What surprised me most.
There is a saying, "The only thing constant, is change." Our homeschool is continually evolving. Sometimes, evolving very quickly. That has been a challenge for me. I like consistency. My first taste of homeschool inconsistency was when I had made a very elaborate plan to paint our homeschool room when my girls were very small. I used primary colors. Blue carpet. Red walls a quarter of the way up from the floor and yellow three quarters of the way down from the ceiling. I bordered the red and yellow with big shapes (squares/circles/triangles, etc) thinking it was a great idea to help me teach colors and shapes. I painted the room in one day and my girls learned all the shapes by the time I was two-thirds of the way into painting the shapes. Life has not slowed down!

Most important thing I’ve learned.

Homeschooling is for a very short season. Make every day count and I’m not referring to educationally…I’m referring to relationship.


My favorite "side benefit" of homeschool. I didn't foresee this but I'm so thankful for it. I've noticed with my children and the majority of other homeschool children that we know, an ability to relate to and communicate with people of any age/status/background/setting. When I was in school, we didn't typically "cross lines", we hung with our own crowd in our age group and economic status. Homeschool children tend to communicate with people of all ages. While we are on field trips, I see teenagers playing with toddlers, tweens playing with elementary school children, and teenagers carrying on intelligent conversations with parents. When we are at church, a field trip, an airport, or basically any environment, my girls communicate with all ages and people from every background. They quickly and easily approach, and carry on a conversation with people from every walk of life, from the homeless to billionares and everyone in between as well as any age group. I didn't gain that ability until I was thirty years old. My girls don't have that "barrier" that prevents them from treating all people with equality.

Overall, homeschool is just like any other area of life. We have great days and we have not so great days. We have days full of laughter and fun and we have days where we struggle.

Personally, I wouldn’t want to trade it for anything. Being with my children, really knowing their heart and what drives them is the most satisfying “work” I’ve ever done. There is nothing greater than seeing their face light up with joy once they master a concept or accomplish a task! The most amazing side effect of homeschool has been learning how to work together as a family. With all my heart, I believe homeschool is a God given privilege and I am so thankful for that privilege.

In Hindsight.

I wish I had known to get appropriate testing to discover my learning style and the learning styles of my children. Since learning each of our learning styles, and now knowing how I learn and communicating information when teaching to my children (Who by the way, have two different learning styles.) has been instrumental to our homeschool. Teaching someone without teaching them by way of their learning style is like trying to teach them using a language that is foreign to them.

Lastly and most importantly.
Pray without ceasing always seeking Him first. As you delight in Him, He will make your path straight with teaching techniques and ideas that you will know came directly from Him! He will show you when to take a homeschool break. He will show you when to press on. He has great and mighty things He wants to show us!

Please don’t let all this information overwhelm you, just start with the basics and branch out from there. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me and I will help you in any way I can.

If you are a homeschooler and want to add more links, advice, comments, etc. please feel free to chime in, thanks!