When a loving, successful, intelligent gentleman asked me for my daughter's hand in marriage, I asked him to stand in agreement with me. He and I know, Jesus said when we agree about anything, we can ask for it and it will be done for us by our Father in Heaven! (Matthew 18:19)
He and I committed from the start to have a relationship independent of everyone else. We agreed when I had an issue arise regarding him, I promised to discuss it directly with him. He promised me the same. We understood there would be issues. We committed there would be no unresolved issues. We both committed to not use my daughter as a middle man. (Matthew 18:15)
He and I have a unique relationship that I value deeply. He can confide in me. He can seek me for counsel and prayer. He isn’t an outsider. He is like a son to me. I do not replace his mother, but I am like a mother to him. We are good friends. Our relationship is about relationship and not about the law. We aren’t connected by law, we are connected by love.
I’ve heard professional counselors advise married couples to handle their in-laws through the blood relative. For example, if the husband has issue with his mother-in-law, he is to take the issue to his wife and his wife is to resolve the issue with her mother. I understand the logic in that. But to me, the sound of that just screams division. I understand professional counselors are trained and experienced; therefore, I will leave all marital counseling in their hands. However, our o’hana has agreed on a different approach. As for me and my house, we have direct relationship with one another in Him.
Jesus has provided a way to direct relationship with our Heavenly Father! (John 14:6) We directly approach our Father when issues arise. (John 16:23) Many are the afflictions of the righteous but God delivers us out of them all! (Psalm 34:19) Praise God nothing can separate us from His love! (Romans 8:38-39) He is our Father! We are His sons & daughters! God is love and His love never fails! (1 John 4:8) We are not connected to Him by law. We are connected to Him by love!
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